I was six months old when I started my first diet.  I’ve been on some sort of modified eating plan every single day of my life since then.  I decided to use a bigger tool this time.  I had a Ruex-En-Y gastric bypass last week along with a hysterectomy.  (See description here… )

I haven’t told many people about the bypass surgery and there are so many reasons for my choice, but the biggest is my fear that I will fail.  I don’t want to talk about what I’ve already tried, what I haven’t tried, and what I could have done differently.  Also, I’m not ready to hear things like “about time”, “I was waiting for you to…” and such.  Actually, I don’t want to talk about “IT” (IT = my weight) at all.  I don’t want to answer the “how much have you lost” question because frankly, I don’t want to know.  It’s not about a number on the scale, my pants, or size of my seatbelt.  It’s about how I feel.  It’s about being able to do things I’ve never done, have more time with my amazing family, and not feel like crap all the freaking time.

I’m still in a lot of pain.  Emotionally and physically.  The hysterectomy part went wonderfully.  The surgeon said he was surprised at how well it went.  I’m in less pain in that area now (less than a week post op) than I was before the surgery.  However, the RNY is excruciating.  My external incisions are not bad, seven small incisions closed with glue and one “hole” from the drain tube.  They are already itching (good sign).  Internally is a huge difference.  Not only was I filled with gas to bloat my abdomen enough for the tools to have room to work, but I had major revisions to my digestion.  Every single swallow feels like I’m trying to digest sharp edged boulders.  Every burp feels like a nuclear bomb in my upper abdomen.  Needless to say, I’m in pain, I’m grumpy, and I’m scared.

So… There you have it.  This is week one.  Hi, My name is Brandy, and I have had a gastric bypass.